Junk Food Nation, people are stupid. How do I know this?

1) This story I learned from an former law school professor of mine: A man in Tennessee was arrested for trying to have sex with an ATM machine.  Yes, that’s right.  An ATM machine. Now, I get it – it’s hard not be attracted to an ATM machine, what with it’s hard plastic/metal case and…uh…shiny keys? Ugh. Unsurprisingly, there was alcohol involved (and I guess, thankfully?), highlighted by the fact that after he was escorted outside to sit at a picnic table to sober up, he proceeded to try to hump the table.  Awesome. Fun fact: Murfreesboro, the city in Tennessee where this occurred, was ranked in 2006 by Money as the 84th best place to live in the United States. Yeah I can see that. 

When my prof posted this story about a man scrumping an ATM on his FB wall, the best comment left: “Did he make a deposit?”  All I can say is, ++++1.

2) This story I learned from a previous co-worker: A girl from Quinnipiac College phoned in a bomb threat to her school in an attempt to cancel graduation ceremonies this past week.  The reason? She had dropped out of school, but was still pretending to be a student while her mom gave her thousands of dollars in tuition money.  As the story goes: “Shea had paid for a cap and gown for the ceremony, but panicked when her relatives did not see her name on the graduation roster, according to a news release from police.”

So…she was just going to take this all the way to the end, then, huh? Dressed in a cap and gown, relatives there – was she going to walk across the stage and hope no one noticed?  Brilliant plan, Stan.

Look, I’m not trying to judge her situation – whether she had to drop out of school because of delinquent balances, bad grades, pressure, whatever it is, her life is her life, and I can’t pretend to walk in her shoes. But you know what ISN’T the solution? CALLING IN A BOMB THREAT. In fact, I’m just going to make a blanket statement – no matter WHAT the situation in life is, no matter how hard, “calling in bomb threat” is NEVER the solution.  Car broken down? DON’ T CALL IN A BOMB THREAT. Hair in your soup? DON’ T CALL IN A BOMB THREAT. Someone keyed your car? DON’ T CALL IN A BOMB THREAT.  See?  Pretty simple.

Today’s junk food: Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream!

Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream: The Money Shot

Here’s the thing about Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream – despite the Limited Edition label, it’s not new. OnSecondScoop was tasting this flavor back in 2010!  Still, this is the first time I’d seen it, the Junk Food Gal wanted it, and here we are.

Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream: everyday luxury?

Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream is basically chocolate cookies & cream with some fudge ribbon?  Sounds good to me!

Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream: 290 cal per serving

Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream: Fudge and cookie speckled

Upon opening this Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream, I knew this wouldn’t be hard to like – HD’s ice cream is among my favorite, and the combo of fudge and cookies CAN’T be bad.

Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream: Decent cookie chunks

Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Midnight Cookies & Cream tastes exactly like you’d expect – very chocolaty. The cookie chunks, despite the previous picture, were actually decently sized as I scraped through the top layer of the ice cream. The fudge added even more chocolate punch to the ice cream, which itself was nice and velvety.

Together, the sweetness of the ice cream and the semi-sweetness of the cookie made for a great combo.  If I had one complaint, it was just that the cookies weren’t as crunchy as I’ve had in other cookies & cream ice cream before.  These were a bit softer, more like brownie pieces.  But I’m splitting hairs.  This is an easy accessible super chocolaty flavor. You’ll like this. Trust me.

PURCHASED AT: Giant Food

COST: $3.00 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy