Junk Food Nation, this post is a little late because I am obsessed with watching the Olympics.  I KNEW this was going to happen.  It always happens.  I’m a huge sports fan to begin with, I love international competitions like the World Cup, and then the Olympics come along on seven different channels and I’m HOOKED.  That’s why this post is a little late – because I was busy watching USA Basketball and actually had to tear myself away from Spain vs. China basketball to write this.  Lordy.

Are any of you out there like me?  I mean, I just can’t get enough.  it’s my compulsive personality, I guess – I just LOVE COMPETITION.

Anyways, in further spirit of international competition, I present: Asian Junk Food Smorgasbord 2!

Endless rows of goodies

I did one of these several months ago, followed by a Latin Junk Food Smorgasbord.  Whenever I go shopping at these Asian grocery stores, there’s never any shortage of funny snacks to peruse.

Animal crackers?

Barley Hardtack is one of the strangest names for a snack I’ve come across.  Especially since, through the cellophane window, you can see that it’s just a bunch of unsweetened Animal-Cracker-like crackers. According to Wiki: “Hardtack (or hard tack) is a simple type of cracker or biscuit, made from flour, water, and sometimes salt. Inexpensive and long-lasting, it was and is used for sustenance in the absence of perishable foods, commonly during long sea voyages and military campaigns.” Well, if THAT isn’t junk food, I don’t know WHAT is!

The Witch is Dead?

Who doesn’t love using onomatopoeia as the names of snacks?  Kind of a random one to choose, however.  And what’s with the elf and the mushroom?  Bizarro.

That aluminum can SCREAMS luxury

Not sure if this is an Asian snack, per se, but naming it Luxury…doesn’t necessarily make it so.  Looks like a can of saltines.

The sister snack

Same thing here…Luxury’s sweet version is known as WONDERFUL.  Of course, these biscuits very well MAY be wonderful.  Still, I feel like using an adjective as the name is dangerous.  It’s inviting criticism – you’d never see an American snack named as such, right?  I mean, can you imagine is some US company named themselves TASTY CAKES or somet* …..hey wait……..

Super Click!

These are Super!  I mean, SOOPER!  I mean….wait, what!?   Plus, “Click” is yet another random onomatopoeia to use for a snack name.  Why not “SMASH” or “KAZAAM”? “Click”? The sound a light switch makes?

Asian junk Food Smorgasbord 2

Chili and Cheese Chippy just sounds tasty.  I can’t wait to try jack n Jill’s other snacks, Pretzely and Crackery. #cheapjoke

Cause THAT makes sense

Although Roller Coaster Potato Rings does sound like a good snack too!  Not sure what connection rings and roller coasters have together, but whatevs.

Chinese OREOS!

These Asian Oreos look good…and I love the slogan! Good taste! Good choice! Quite ornate cookie design too, no?

Ew

I will say that I appreciate the trend these days toward making chips out of chickpeas, and lentils, and other non-carb items…but actual crackers/chips made of green peas???  Yuck.  I barely like peas in regular cooking…these don’t sound very good.

OH YES INDEED

And finally, a picture not unfamiliar to anyone who follows me on Instagram – the OH YES CHOCO CAKE. Quite possibly the best name of a snack I’ve ever seen.  “Presents for your delicious taste.  Enjoy your happy times.” Does anyone else feel like Bill Murray should be hocking these cakes in “Lost in Translation”?

“For relaxing times, make it Oh Yes Choco Cake time.”

Why can’t MORE junk foods be like this?  I want HELL YES tortilla chips and ZOMG pretzels.  Make it happen, Frito-Lay!  And back to our regularly scheduled junk foods tomorrow!

Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy