JFG Nation, here’s the truth about the Summer Fancy Food Show – it’s just a lot of food. Year after year, I meet people who have never been, and I try to tell them it’s an experience like no other. “I’ve been to food shows before.” NOT LIKE THIS. I SWEAR TO YOU, NOT LIKE THIS.

With more than 2500 vendors and hundreds of thousands of food samples, it’s overwhelming. It’s ALWAYS overwhelming. The Summer Fancy Food Show is an unforgiving mistress. “Oh, you feel full?? HAVE ANOTHER BAVARIAN CHOCOLATE, SWINE!”

And even someone who likes snacks like me cannot go through the Fancy Food Show eating only snacks. You can’t. There’s too much other stuff going on.

Luckily, I happen to like a LOT of food. One cannot live on junk food alone, and why would you want to? Junk food is designed to emulate the flavors of real food, so the more you enjoy real food, the more you’ll enjoy junk food. It’s like people who enjoy porn more than sex – you can’t just live in the fabrication. I’ll take actual steak picanha over picanha flavored chips, always. Gotta keep that palate attuned to what’s REAL.

So when someone from Japan shoves a cut of sushi salmon into your hand, pre-doused with soy sauce, YOU EAT THAT BLICKY.

At the Summer Fancy Food Show, the four major food groups are clear: Meat/Cheese. Booze. Stuff in jars. And sugar. Yeah, I know that leaves no room for chips or crackers or other savory crunchy things – those are always floating around. But trust me, those four groups encompass 70-85% of the show. Yes, that’s a precise range.

See the guy above slicing bits of ham and holding it up for passers-by like a carnival barker? EVERY ROW HAD ONE OF THESE GUYS. THEY MULTIPLIED LIKE AMOEBAS BEFORE MY EYES.

I want to take you guys on a mini tour of Food Group 1: meat & cheese. Let’s begin here: a popular staple at the Summer Fancy Food Show that I always hit is the Alexian booth: mini ice cream cones full of duck liver mousse might horrifying some, but I assure you I ate 7-8 of these with no shame.

At the Summer Fancy Food Show 2016, Alexian was featuring their duck rillette. Delicious. You know what the difference is between mousse, pâté, and rillette? Because I don’t and I even tried looking up the definition. But this meaty spread reminded me of bacon jam but more ducky. Quack quack, get in my stomach.

There’s no shortage of cheese at the Summer Fancy Food Show 2016, because Americans love cheese and for good reason – I need my salt, dairy, fats, and sugars all in one place. Cheese and butter, you’re it!

This wasabi cheese tasted like a creamy block of wasabi melting across my tongue. Did it make my eyes water? Yes. Was it super horseradish-y? Absolutely. Did I go back for seconds? Of course. I want my tear ducts to be empty when I eat wasabi.

Another yearly favorite pastime of my friend Jen is to see how many hot cheese vendors are at the Summer Fancy Food Show. Typically this comes in the form of grilled halloumi, which are the blocks of firm cheese you’ll find in Indian food like saag paneer. Throw those blocks on a griddle with some oil and you have a grilled cheese sandwich without the bread. So so tasty.

Some vendors at the Summer Fancy Food Show also had flavored halloumi this year, like the chipotle blocks you see above front and left.  BLASPHEMY! Now give me 13 cubes please.

Duck Bacon is always a hit at the Summer Fancy Food Show. This product of Maple Leaf farms is a go-to for me every year. 57% less fat means I can eat 57% more. I think that’s how math works.

Tomorrow: part 2! See anything you like? Let me know in the comments below.

Sincerely,

The JFG