JFG Nation, with all the other stuff going on in my life, sports have fallen to the backburner for me. I’m sure you’ve noticed it – my sports predictions and the such have been few and far between these days. However, yesterday was SPORTS OVERLOAD – so many things happened yesterday, taking me on  emotional rollercoaster. Here’s a live look inside my head:

1. AROD ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT: Awh man. I’m not really sure how to feel about this one. When the Yanks first got Arod, I was stoked. It seemed like he was never that good in the postseason until finally breaking through in 2009 to lead them to a World Series. Then came the PED scandal, and Arod just acted like a big jerk. FOR YEARS. And then he started sucking, badly, at the plate. My contempt was at an all time high. I used to tell my co-worker “He should just stop talking. Stop responding to the media. Just come to the park, shut your mouth, and play, ya jerk.” And then…he did! He shut his mouth and quietly played for the Yanks without making waves. But the sucking didn’t quite stop. So as he exits, stage right, I’m feeling all sorts of meehhhhhh about the situation.

2. DJOKOVIC LOSES AND SO DOES THE WILLIAMS SISTERS DOUBLES TEAM: What the hell, man!?

3. JIM FURYK HITS 58 AT THE TRAVELERS CHAMPIONSHIP: Wait, a golfer hit 58? FIFTY EIGHT???? How the hell is that possible? Usually, even when you see someone won a tournament dominantly shooting 10 or 11 under, that’s spread out over the course of four days. Furyk his 58, 12 under the 70-par, ON ONE DAY??? What the. *Furyk takes off human mask to reveal Deadpool*

4. ICHIRO MAKES 3000 HITS: Ah, my love of Ichiro runs deep. I wrote all about it here. I’ll never forget this throw:

Sh*t. That was awesome.

5. KATIE LEDECKY WINS WORLD RECORD: Ok, now my Olympic juices are flowing. I’ve been watching soccer with lots of interest, but last night watching Ledecky race was the first time so far that I’ve gotten goosebumps. Holy eff. She DOMINATED. My favorite tweet of the night:

cant believe she beat the woman on the jetski tbh pic.twitter.com/ZjgoBTxkeJ

— darth™ (@darth) August 8, 2016

6. NFL CANCELS HALL OF FAME GAME DUE TO OVERLY STICKY PAINT ON THE FIELD USED TO CREATE HOF NFL LOGO: Yep this is real. The HOF game always sucks, so who cares? I got me some Olympics to watch, yo. Andrew Luck wanted to watch Michael Phelps swim anyways.

7. BILLS ROOKIE REGGIE RAGLAND PARTIALLY TEARS ACL, ROOKIE SHAQ LAWSON STILL OUT WITH SHOULDER SURGERY: *punches wall*

BTW, EPISODE 83 OF THE NOSH SHOW IS HERE!

For you new arrivals, The Nosh Show is a podcast started by Marvo from The Impulsive Buy, featuring Ryan from GrubGrade, Dubba from On Second Scoop, and, of course, me, your friendly neighborhood JFG. And today marks the release of The Nosh Show, Episode 83: August Means Halloween!

This week: “Taco Bell Crispy Chicken Chips, Taco Bell Cheetos Burrito, Taco Bell Walking Nachos, and a bunch of products not from Taco Bell.” You can listen embedded here:

You can subscribe to The Nosh Show using various services: iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, Google Play, RSS.

Today’s junk food: Lay’s Chinese Szechuan Chicken Potato Chips!!

Lay’s Chinese Szechuan Chicken Potato Chips are one of the four new “Olympic flavors” released for the world event. While some of the imagery is cliche (the dragon, really?), I could care less. You want do fake Asian font? Be my guest. I’m more offended by this:

The white takeout container???? These days, all of my Chinese food comes in those round flat/wide black plastic containers with the clear top. GET WITH THE TIMES, Lay’s Chinese Szechuan Chicken Potato Chips!!

Ok, trying to invoke transliterations of Chinese? Knock that off too.

Lay’s Chinese Szechuan Chicken Potato Chips contain Szechuan Wok flavor! FUN!

Ok, let’s get to the business – I opened these Lay’s Chinese Szechuan Chicken Potato Chips and smelled a good deal of soy and savoriness. They kinda smelled like…instant noodles? But the beef kind, which is weird. Popping some chips into my mouth, these definitely invoked the flavor of instant noodle flavor seasoning packets. It had that zesty meat bouillon flavor, with plenty of onion and garlic notes. On top of that, however, was a definitely sharp tanginess and spice that really kicked in on the back end. Not too much to burn, but very noticeable. Did these taste like Szechuan Chicken? In a lot of ways, yes – the flavor was very bold and intense. If this flavor was (1) mix with water and cooked til it caramelized, and then (2) added to bland chicken, the flavor would be on point.

But, as it was, it was NOT caramelized, so it definitely tasted like I was eating a straight flavor packet. The chips were already salty, so these were a SALT BOMB. After eating a good bit of the bag, my stomach definitely started to feel sour. While I thought the flavor was bold and semi-accurate, I started to not love these…started to not even like these….after a few handfuls. By the end, I was not a fan.

These are FINE, but I won’t be eating them again. A little too sodium packed for me, overwhelming normal chip balance. Nope.

Purchased at: Giant Food, Van Ness, DC

Price: $3.00 on sale

Sincerely,

The JFG