JFG NATION, over the weekend I saw this infomercial:

My question: WHY DOES THIS EXIST?

The video starts out with this claim: “Cutting and slicing takes FOREVER!” Does it? Maybe it does when you’re doing it wrong. Why the hell are there vegetable shards EVERYWHERE. Why didn’t you remove cut vegetable pieces from the cutting board periodically? And, shortly after, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU JUST MAKING A BIG ARM SWEEPING MOTION INTO THE CROCKPOT? YOU’RE the problem, user-of-knife. Not the knife itself.

“And cleanup is a pain.” Um, you’re scrubbing a flat wooden board. How much easier could it get?

But the main thrust of the commercial is that you can cut SO FAST with the Clever Cutter, and then they show someone going to TOWN on a carrot into a bowl. WHY? Who needs sliced vegetables THAT FAST that you need to have a spring loaded knife-cutting-board combo to GET IT DONE NOW. Plus, all of the veggies in the commercial have already been pre-peeled. YOU STILL HAVE TO PEEL THAT ISH, CHIEF. This isn’t speeding up anything.

But perhaps my biggest problem is that you can only cut small things. Even the potatoes they show someone cutting at the 0:35 mark are weird long tubular potatoes. What if I wanted to cut a cantaloupe? What then? WHY ISN’T THERE A JUMBO CLEVER CUTTER? I guess I’ll keep on using that paper slicer from the office.

This has to rank as one of the dumbest infomercials I’ve seen in a while. What do you think? Have you used this? Let me know in the comments below.

Next, EPISODE 78 OF THE NOSH SHOW IS HERE!

For you new arrivals, The Nosh Show is a podcast started by Marvo from The Impulsive Buy, featuring Ryan from GrubGrade, Dubba from On Second Scoop, and, of course, me, your friendly neighborhood JFG. And today marks the release of The Nosh Show, Episode 78: Whopper Dog!

This week, “we talk about Reese’s Pieces in Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, McDonald’s Garlic Fries, Jelly Donut Oreo Cookies, Burger King’s Whopper Dog, and much more.” You can listen embedded here:

You can subscribe to The Nosh Show using various services: iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, Google Play, RSS.

Today’s junk food: Limited Edition Strawberry Shortcake Oreos!!!!

Limited Edition Strawberry Shortcake Oreos have been out for a little while, but I finally tracked them down this past Sunday. Reason: I live IN DC, and most of the Walmarts are all OUT of DC. So the trek has to be worth it for me, and to be honest? Strawberry Shortcake isn’t a flavor that makes me jump up, run to my car, and go. I LIKE strawberry shortcake, but I don’t LOVE strawberry shortcake…

Opening up these Limited Edition Strawberry Shortcake Oreos, they certainly smelled fake-strawberry-ish. These cookies had no special cookie, no special dollop of a different creme in the middle, no mix of a strawberry creme and a white creme – nadda. Just Golden Oreo and pinkness. Zzzzzz.

Biting into one of these Limited Edition Strawberry Shortcake Oreos, my thoughts were confirmed: MEH. The strawberry taste is that spot-on fake-strawberry flavor that you’ve tasted in many items. To me, it reminded me IMMEDIATELY of Strawberry Pocky – an Asian cookie. It tasted sort of waxy, like there was something added to the creme to hold the strawberry flavor back, or dilute it.

These Limited Edition Strawberry Shortcake Oreos didn’t taste like Strawberry Shortcake to me, although I can see where they were going with it. Strawberry Shortcake in real life is a couple basic sweet cakes, covered in strawberry sauce with some sort of reduced strawberries in it, covered in whipped cream. MAYBE this tasted like that when everything is mixed together, but not really. The main component missing was the sharp, tart, sting of the strawberry flavor. People don’t typically think of strawberries as acidic as, say, oranges or lemons, but a nice fresh strawberry has a bright fruity taste! These lacked that.

Plus, the Golden Oreo has too much vanilla to match a Shortcake. Bleh – Limited Edition Strawberry Shortcake Oreos aren’t a BAD snack, but they fall way behind other Oreos I’ve tried.

PURCHASED AT: Walmart, Germantown, MD

COST: $2.98

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

The JFG