Oh hey there, JFG Nation. It’s me, your friendly neighborhood JFG. What is the good word? Oh what’s that? where the EFF have I been? What do you mean?

OH RIGHT. The some-nine days straight without posting…ah. You have a point. Well, if you’ve been following my Instagram, Twitter @junkfoodguy, or Facebook, you know that after my four days in Vegas I also tacked on five days in the Bay Area. And I look forward to telling you ALLLLLL about it, and about all the great things I ate.

When I started this site, I made a promise to all of you – no, not the blogging every day thing, because I have clearly failed on that promise many times. No, the promise was that I wanted you the readers to see the food (junk and other) through my eyes. And I made a silent promise to you all that no matter what, what you see is what you get – me, and everything that comes with it. Where I go, where I travel, what I’m eating, what I’m seeing. This site will never be just clickbait or keeping up with the joneses. If I’m busy with the day job, you’ll know it. You’ll feel it. YOU’LL LIVE MY DEADLINES WITH MEno sorry that was a bit too far. But you get my point.

So let’s get right to it! First, an update on the JFG March Madness pool – DAMNIT. It was all going so well! After Texas A&M scored 14 points in under a minute I thought the stars had aligned for me to make a winning run. Then three of my Final Four got knocked out and here I am looking up at Emma in 1st Place. DAMNIT EMMA. Since most people are maxed out on points, that leaves only Sascha, Pam, or Jessica with a chance to knock Emma off her perch. Essentially, the only people who had Villanova going far this year. OF ALL THE YEARS FOR VILLANOVA NOT TO S* THE BED IN THE SECOND ROUND.

How are you brackets doing otherwise? Let me know in the comments below.

Second, EPISODE 74 OF THE NOSH SHOW IS HERE!

For you new arrivals, The Nosh Show is a podcast started by Marvo from The Impulsive Buy, featuring Ryan from GrubGrade, Dubba from On Second Scoop, and, of course, me, your friendly neighborhood JFG. Except, not this week, since I’ve been MIA – instead they got JEEG from Nerd Lunch to fill in. Last Monday marked the release of The Nosh Show, Episode 74: Mystery Product!

Last week, they “talk[ed] about a new [REDACTED] flavor you haven’t heard of yet. Okay, actually [they] talk[ed] about three new [REDACTED] varieties you haven’t heard of yet.” You can listen embedded here:

You can subscribe to The Nosh Show using various services: iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, RSS.

Today’s junk food: Limited Edition Ultimate Butter Ritz!!

I’ve reviewed a lot of Ritz in my day. Limited Edition Ultimate Butter Ritz, however, stopped me in my tracks when I saw it. I think when we discussed these on the Nosh Show, the consensus reaction was: Ritz are already damn buttery. Why the HELL would we need MORE butter on Ritz crackers?? Honestly, who is eating a sleeve of Ritz crackers and thinking “hmmmm…not buttery enough.”

Limited Edition Ultimate Butter Ritz suggests three combos to try on the side of the box, and I have no idea what the hell I’m looking at here. If that’s corn on the cob, what the hell is the piece of bacon doing there? Caramel Corn? What the heck IS that? This box panel is super weird.

Opening the sleeve of these Limited Edition Ultimate Butter Ritz, I immediately noticed the smell of movie theater butter. Like, that sort-of-milky over-the-top butter smell? It emanated from the package. It really really did – BUTTER BUTTER BUTTER. Was it pleasant? I wasn’t sure…yet.

These Limited Edition Ultimate Butter Ritz look exactly the same as normal Ritz. There was no extra yellow sheen, no dripping butter, nadda. They looked the same. They smelled like I just rubbed butter in my nostrils. But how did they taste?

Popping one cracker into my mouth, I chewed. The same Ritz crisp/flakiness. I chewed more – at first I thought, “I can taste a little bit more butter, but they aren’t more buttery than normal Ritz.” I was wrong. By the time I ate my second cracker, I could REALLY taste the movie theater butter. It was EVERYWHERE – STRONG butter flavor that was heavy on the milky creaminess aspect. The cracker, as innocent as it looked, was LOADED with the artificial butter flavor.

And that’s it. These were SUPER BUTTERY Ritz. I stared at the open sleeve,again wondering why anyone would want these? Personally, I was sort of put off by them – I pushed the sleeve away, wishing I had something to scrape my mouth hole with to get the butter taste out. Even as I smacked my lips, the butter flavor lingered.

To be fair, these didn’t taste BAD – but I do not know why one would want so much butter flavor on one cracker. And trust me I am not one to shy away from butter and a bread basket at a restaurant. But essentially dousing Ritz with movie theater butter? I don’t know why these exist….if you can think of a reason, let me know in the comments below. Otherwise, I’ll pass on these in the future.

PURCHASED AT: Giant, Van Ness, DC

COST: $3.00

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy