Junk Food Nation, it should surprise no one that I am a lover of all things food. While I haven’t eaten it all, I have eaten a LOT – from garbage plates to fois gras. While I blog about junk food on here, I’ve said it before – I enjoy healthy food too (c’mon, the flavor of a fresh grapefruit is AWESOME), and I love going to cool restaurants and new food joints (driving excessive miles to go on a foodie adventure is one of my favorite things to do).

But my tastes are not limited to local joints and shelf items – I also appreciate the chain restaurant, the fast food joint, the quick stop at the gas station. Some of my friends would never go into a Denny’s; I say BRING IT ON THE MOONS OVER MY HAMMY. Cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster? ONE BASKET AINT ENOUGH. Papa John’s pizza? AS LONG AS I CAN DOUSE THE ENTIRE THING IN GARLIC SAUCE.

I agree with many of my friends – there are some chains whose quality is very poor that I will ALWAYS avoid, that have no saving grace. While some chains have a consistency which is hard to beat (I love you, Chipotle), others have consistently BAD quality. But this is, in my opinion, just because the chain itself sucks, NOT because bad quality is inherent to a chain.

So my question to YOU, Junk Food Nation, is what are some completely underrated food items at chains and fast food joints out there?  Things like the cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster – while I don’t mind eating endless buckets of so-so frozen fried shrimp, it’s really those biscuits that keep me coming back. Or maybe it’s one variety of pancakes at IHOP? Sure, the syrup pitchers ALWAYS need wiping down (ALWAYS WHY SO STICKY), but maybe the Rooty Tooty Fresh n Fruity Pancakes get you all hot and bothered.

Let me know in the comments below – especially if it’s a chain I haven’t heard of, then I’d REALLY like to know. If there a chain out there that you think gets a bad rep but has one thing that you LOVE? Tell me.

Today’s junk food: Nerds Bumpy Jelly Beans!!

Nerds Bumpy Jelly Beans are not new (apparently they debuted back in 2008?? Where have *I* been?) but this was the first time *I’d* ever seen them. I wanted to review them for two reasons: first, I have’t done a ton of Easter candy on this blog yet, and second, I LOVE NERDS. I mean, Nerds Ropes are some of my favorite things EVER.  Gummy string embedded with crunchy sugary Nerds?  HEAVEN.

So when I saw jelly beans coated in Nerds, I jumped at the chance to eat these. “Jelly beans covered in a nerdalicious shell.” You have my attention, Wonka.

Nerds Bumpy Jelly Beans are made of *surprise surprise* lots of different types of sugar, colorings and other chemicals. And yes – do not feed these to your less than 4-yr-old kids. *I* have a tendency to eat too fast and choke, so I am well aware of the dangers here.

BTW, this is what Wiki says about these:

• Nerd Jelly Beans, produced for Easter, are jelly beans with a coating of carnauba wax, which makes them taste like Nerds.

MMMMM carnauba wax.

WHOOOOOOA. These Nerds Bumpy Jelly Beans are WEIRD looking. I mean, they DO look like the front of the package, but when live and in person, these remind me a lot of the random candy you’d find in one of those shady glass coin-slot gumball machines that were usually stationed by the exit of your grocery store. One quarter gets you a handful of half broken hard candy and the suspicious candy dust from the metal slot flap. Gross.

As an aside, I haven’t seen any of those shady gumball machines anymore. Have vendors just decided that kids don’t care about shady candy anymore? Because all I see positioned by the grocery stores exits NOW is Redbox. REDBOX EVERYWHERE. I guess these days, given a choice, kids would rather have The Box Trolls on DVD than five crappy old Runts.

When I opened this bag, there was no fruity smell – these actually smelled a LOT like Nerds, if you’re a Nerds aficionado. They smelled sweet but had that semi-stale hard candy shell smell.

I crunched on a bunch of these Nerds Bumpy Jelly Beans and…hmmmm. These were different than I expected.

I was expecting to have the same type of experience as I had with Nerds Ropes. With Nerds Ropes, I got to have the Nerds candy crunch I was familiar with, those same bursts of tang and rock sugar flavor, with the added texture of a gummy rope inside. And, since I love gummy candy, it was a win win.

I really enjoy jelly beans, so that’s what I wanted from these – that same burst of tang and candy crunch plus the nice chew of a jelly bean.  What I got instead was a tiny bit of a disappointment. While the candy shell did crunch, it didn’t have that same feel as regular Nerds – the shell chewed easily and fell apart in my mouth. Yeah, it was crispy, but the texture overall was a not the same.

Flavor-wise, the Nerds flavor was there.It did taste like Nerds candy surrounding a basic jelly bean. The initial tang flavor of the Nerds candy, however, was muted a bit by the jelly bean – the inside jelly bean wasn’t flavored any way except “sweet,” and so it wasn’t like the Grape Nerds shell was highlighting a grape jelly bean, etc. As a result, the Nerds flavor I wanted was quickly dampened with each chew. I wish they had used specific fruit jelly beans. Imagine this shell on the outside of Starburst jelly beans??  MAGIC.

The different colors definitely had different flavors. Purple was definitely grape-y, while orange-yellow-green…I *THINK* there was a difference in flavor, but it was so close it might as well be right up there with the whole blue/black white/gold controversy. I guess the yellow tasted the most sour, but that could’ve just been me on a sugar high.

Overall, these were just OK to me; I think I’ll stick with Nerds Ropes and Starburst Jelly Beans. They didn’t taste bad, but they didn’t live up to my expectations.

PURCHASED AT: Target

COST: $2.49

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.

Sincerely,

Junk Food Guy