Review: New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks & Awkward Thursdays: What To Do When Someone Just Rips One?
Junk Food Nation, a few days ago, it was a nice day out. I had parked my car about a block away from my place and was walking back home when I approached what looked to be a couple, maybe late 50’s, standing outside of their car that was parked on the street. They seemed to be discussing directions, and when I was about 30 yards away, the woman stepped away and went into the nearest apartment building, leaving the man standing next to the car. As I approached, I gave a normal courteous small smile and nod as I passed; he did the same. And then, as I was not five feet past where he was standing, this dude ripped a massive fart. Like, a LOUD one. Not “did someone step on a duck?” volume; more like this dude was shouting out of his ass.
Now, normally I’d just awkwardly keep walking, trying to stifle a chuckle, but this was SO loud, I actually stopped and turned. And you know what this guy was doing? GIVING *ME* A WEIRD LOOK. What the eff? THAT WAS *YOU*, DUDE. Why the hell are you giving me that look? THAT WAS YOU WITH THE TROUSER TRUMPET.
Anyways, I was so shocked to see the look on HIS face, that I quickly turned and scampered away. What the hell? What would YOU have done? I mean, I could’ve started laughing. Maybe this guy was trying to play-act in case anyone ELSE was watching us? Nation, it was so weird. I don’t normally do toilet humor, but this was bizarre. Tell me how you would’ve reacted in the comments below.
Today’s junk food: New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks!
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: The Money Shot
New Welch’s Creamy PB & J Snacks were seen at a Safeway grocery near me. I’m not sure if these are ACTUALLY new or not – it looks like they came out earlier this year – but this is the first time I got my hands on them. I wasn’t willing to invest the cash into both flavors until I figured out what the hell these were, so I opted for the grape.
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: The Money Shot
Ah, grape. I love grape jelly! Hence, the selection of New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks. Made with real fruit and creamy PB, so that’s a good sign. I love PB&J, but I have to be honest: WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE? Fruit snacks encased in a PB shell? These were so bizarre that I had to buy them.
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: One bite, no mess
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks are a “one bite, no mess” snack. But…I love messy PB&J, don’t you?
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: 100 cal per pouch
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: pear puree??
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks contain a lot of things using a lot of big words. I spotted pear puree immediately which I thought was interesting. Would these have a hint of pear? And why was the pear necessary…to help beef up the volume?
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: The Pouch Shot
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks came in individual pouches, perfect for your on-the-go munching, I guess. I want to see airplanes handing these out instead of pretzels.
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: WAAAAH?
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks, themselves, were little semi-spheres of…what looked to be…peanut butter? The outside was sort of waxy, and they smelled like peanut butter I guess. These smelled more like peanut butter cereal than peanut butter…that faint sweet peanut butter smell.
New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks: WEIRD
I chewed some of these New Welch’s Concord Grape Creamy PB & J Snacks and….hmmm. VERY interesting.
Essentially, the inside is like a grape fruit snack – a soft chewy gelatinous glob of grape-flavored stuff. Softer than a gummy candy. The grape flavor was ok – sweet and grape-y. Nothing too memorable.
The outside coating DID taste like peanut butter but was so waxy that it actually took a while to get the flavor to emerge, which I didn’t like. The PB flavor was not immediate.
Combined? These were just ok. Yes, I did get the PB&J flavor, but I would never choose these over a real PB&J, or even think this was a suitable on-the-go replacement.
If Welch’s was looking to add a PB&J fruit snack to the fruit snack universe that sort-of-accomplished its flavor goal, then I’d say they were successful. But, as they are, this is not a snack I will ever revisit. Sorry, Welch’s. I love your grape juice.
PURCHASED AT: Safeway, Wheaton, MD
COST: $2.99.
Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.
Sincerely,
Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 13 Comments
I think it’s how he gets his jollies, farting loudly then “accusing” others with the evil eye. Your survival instincts recognized the crazy. When someone’s that far gone, you don’t want to laugh at them because that would be upping the ante and god knows what they would do in response. Imagine what it’s like to be his wife. He probably frightens her awake in bed with butt thunder and then angrily accuses her of doing it. It’s a wonder she hasn’t gone insane or killed him by now. Just a bad, bad scene, and you were smart to GTFO.
The PB&J treats look kinda nasty. I don’t like crossover stuff. Candy here, PB&J there. Not combined into one handy bag of sugary blandness.
@Indigo – wow, you gave him a whole deviant motive! haha – I like it
I tried these when the store were giving out these as free sample pouches. It was disgusting. I did not like it at all. It was weird and mushy. Those will never replace the true peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
@Alek: Weirdly mushy is a good description
I am surprised that people don’t like. These seem right up my alley and would be perfect for eating while cycling. Especially since my 3 year old is allergic to PB so eating on the road would be ideal.
@MarcP: Convenience wise, yes – eating on the go is the main selling point. I guess for me, I’d just opt for something else entirely different
I’VE BEEN DOMINATING THESE LATELY. ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THEY DONT *TASTE* REMARKABLE, BUT THE TEXTURE, THE ODD SOFTNESS OF THEM TOTALLY DOES IT FOR ME
@ALLCAPS: I get it. Apparently, Welch’s has a “crunchy” version of these same snacks too – have you tried those?
After a massive honking fart, if I was up to it I would say, “EXCUSE YOU!” or “Please sir, may I have another?”
@MP: I tucked and ran, instead, haha.
I have eaten Welch’s products most of my life… I’m 66 years old. I have been faithful to the brand. I bought these today for the first time, never hesitating a moment. The brand name sold me on the product.
You’ve not been faithful to your own reputation. I got the grape. You should clearly indicate on the box that this is in no way actually Welch’s Concord Grape jam or jelly. This is like artificially flavored grape mush with a hideous texture.
I love peanut butter… but this stuff just sort of put me off of PB&J desire for a while.
Gosh… what were you thinking???
@Peggy: Love the vitriol. 🙂
u still there im the guy. I farted at u