Review: New Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta Sides & WHY ROBOCALLS WHY??

Junk Food Nation, don’t forget to enter my recent contest, posted yesterday – you could win a box of Merci Chocolates and a case of Girl Scout Cookie Crunch Bars!  Click here to find out how.

On a more annoying note, I must’ve gotten on some spam calling list, because over the past week, I have been getting ENDLESS, ENDLESS CALLS from a spam phone number!  ROBOCALLS!  Yesterday alone, I received nine, count’em, NINE calls from (866) 419-2780.  My phone has been ringing all day:

(866) 419-2780! (866) 419-2780! (866) 419-2780! (866) 419-2780! (866) 419-2780! (866) 419-2780! (866) 419-2780! (866) 419-2780! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!  (You know, despite just wanting to emphasize the word STOP that reads more like STOOP.  Anyways.)

Does anyone out there know how to make robocalls stop?  I looked on Google, and it talks about calling various numbers to get on don’t call lists, but that seems like a hassle.  I just want to be able to key in some code on my keypad and it blows up the person on the other end.  Possible? You tell me.

Today’s junk food: Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta!

Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta: The Money Shot

I know what you’re thinking: Side of pasta??  NOT JUNK FOOD.

Me: I dunno, maybe it’s not. But it’s microwave pasta that tastes like bacon?  If this isn’t junk food, it’s pretty close.

Knorr Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta: With the great taste of real bacon

Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta is another Menu Flavors variety that Knorr has been pushing.  What was wrong with plain old Alfredo?  I guess people wanted to feel like they were in a restaurant? Because I know that bacon Parmesan noodles are a constant side dish I order when I’m fine dining (nope).

Eat the whole package = 560 cal

Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta is 560 calories for the entire package, prepared. That’s a lot of calories for what is essentially 1 AND 1/3 CUPS OF FOOD TOTAL.  Good lord.

And why bother putting the mix calories by themselves? Is anyone just dumping the dry noodles and seasoning in their mouths???  Gross.

Is the caramel color necessary?

Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta contains bacon.  Well, that’s a relief.

Knorr Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta

When I opened up the package of this Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta, and dumped it into my microwave safe bowl, it smelled like a big ole bag of Bacon Bits.  Yep, that smoky bacon flavor/smell just smacked me right in the face.  VERY smoky smell – no mistaking it.

Knorr Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta

After ten minutes of nuking, these Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta noodles were stirred and produced the above-looking dish.  Not bad looking!  Smelled savory and smoky…

Gelatinous

I took a bite of this Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta and smiled.  Very tasty – as a sodium filled pasta side dish should be.  The noodles were very very tender…not soggy at all.  The sauce coated, but didn’t saturate, the noodles.

Gooey

The sauce of this Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta was creamy …although I didn’t get much parmesan taste at all.  It was just cheesy and savory. Nothing special – just general salty cheesy savory flavor.  Very smoky tasting, however.

Is that bacon?

The bacon bits in this Knorr Menu Flavors Smokehouse Bacon Parmesan Pasta were chewy, liked reconstituted ham/bacon…because that’s what it was.  It was dehydrated pork that had been re-hydrated.  Gross.  Still, the overall flavor of the pasta did indeed remind me of smoky bacon.  Everyone once in a while, I’d bite down on a tiny piece of bacon/pork and get a tiny bit more smoky bacon flavor, but really the whole thing tasted artificially like smoked bacon.  Which I still enjoyed!

Overall, not bad.  I’d eat it again, but it was pretty standard and generic.  It wasn’t SMOKEHOUSE or super-PARMESAN – it was just noodles in a buttery cheese sauce that had a smoky bacon taste.  That’s it.

PURCHASED AT: Giant Food

COST: $1.50 on sale

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s do this.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy

Discuss - 7 Comments

  1. Shorneys says:

    I signed you up for those lists in retaliation for making me join twitter to win your goddamn contests. 😛

  2. Lindemann says:

    Good recognition that this is essentially junk food. One of my signs of maturation (relative to my previous level of maturation and not to any independent standard of maturity) was when I realized that bag pasta with powdered cream sauce was a college thing I needed to put away and never open again.

  3. Lindemann says:

    My stockpile of Simpsons memorabilia says I’m more immature than you regardless!

  4. Anonymous says:

    I tried this back in 2012, and still like it today. To me, it’s better cooked on the stove than in the microwave. In the microwave these noodles are mushy/rubbery, and sauce not that good. That 2 minutes of waiting after the pasta is done really makes a difference: it makes the sauce thicken up a bit, making for a better textured and tasting pasta dish.

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