Review: Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies & My Sports Penance: Why the Patriots Are Great
Junk Food Nation, lots going on today. First, tons of baseball races coming down to the VERY LAST DAY (and may even continue onto a one-game playoff day that ISN’T the one-game Wildcard Playoff). Second, first Presidential Debate tonight – whatever side of the aisle you’re on, all eyes will be on Denver tonight. Third, I’ve been slow cooking a pot of chicken stew for almost 24 hrs…so I’m looking forward to some good eatin’ tonight.
Before we get to that, however, I must pay my sports penance. I made a bet with Nick from On Second Scoop that in this past weekend’s Bills-Pats game, if the Pats won, I’d come on here and gush about how great they were. Well, they shellacked my Bills. Ugh. And now…my punishment:
It’s hard to ignore what Belichick has done with the Patriots over the past eleven years. The Patriots’ strength is, and always has been, their ability to zig while the rest of the league zags. During Brady’s first Super Bowl run, the Patriots caught many off guard as Belichick managed the clock perfectly on many occasions to earn victories – game ending field goals were a specialty. In 2003, it was all about swarming defense that created turnovers. 2004 saw the addition of Corey Dillon bring back the running game to New England. 2007 was their undefeated season, with very little running game, replaced instead by a pass-heavy offense led by Wes Welker and Randy Moss. And in both the 2011 and 2012 seasons, the Pats reinvented themselves again, leading the way for large pass catching TEs to become the fad now in the NFL.
Perhaps the most appealing thing about the Brady-Belichick relationship is how they view each other. I’ve watched a ton of NFL films and saw the documentary and Belichick, and he and the QB sit down and they talk over games, man to man. Not a coach telling his QB what to do, not a QB pushing bravado about what he can do – they just sit and talk and figure out opponents, week to week. Mutual respect, and mutual coordination. What every team should strive for. Innovation. Respect. Diligence. They are the model of the National Football League.
Ok, that’s enough – I can’t go any further. I hope you’re happy Nick – happy birthday. Now, can I get a Silkwood shower over here?
Today’s junk food: Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies!
Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies: The Money Shot
Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies were found in my local Safeway, and I was SHOCKED they existed. Apparently, they came out earlier in 2012, but somehow I missed the boat. Twinkies have been around since 1930 – why change it up now? Or why not bring back the Twinkies that were once filled with vanilla creme AND fruit jelly – now THOSE were awesome.
Ride em Twinkie!
But no, Hostess has decided to make Chocolate Creme Twinkies. And apparently there’s a “fun” cowboy mascot too. Don’t know when this character was added to the brand, but I find him rather generic and unmemorable.
Golden sponge cake with chocolate creamy filling certainly SOUNDS good…we’ll see.
The last thing I’m going to do is follow a Twinkie
Everyone’s had a deep fried Twinkie before, right? If you haven’t you have to try it – it’s damn good. That said, I’ve never been a huge fan of Twinkies generally. I liked Hostess Cupcakes (cartoon character shown above), but Twinkies always felt a little dry and greasy at the same time. Not much substance for what I was eating.
MMMMMMMMMMMMM 2 cakes per serving!
Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies are loaded with all the things a growing child needs like…WHOLE EGGS! AND BEEF FAT! Who says this isn’t a four course meal in one phallus shaped snack?
These would withstand a nuclear holocaust
Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies look like regular Twinkies on the outside…
The horror!
…But predictably scary within. Let’s take a bite and a closer look.
So…spongy
Hostess Chocolate Creme Twinkies smelled like chocolate – the few sniffs I took were very cocoa-y. Once I took a bite, however, I tasted what I always taste when I have a Twinkie – the strong taste of the vanilla sponge cake. It was sort of dry, as it always is for me.
Did the chocolate creme add much flavor? Not for me, it didn’t. The creme filling was very mousse-like… sure it had a hint of chocolate taste, but it was more fluffy and creamy tasting than anything else. Honestly, if I closed my eyes and you told me it was still just vanilla creme – I might’ve been convinced.
To me, it SMELLED more like chocolate than tasted like chocolate. I know that tasting things requires your nose too, so maybe that’s what Hostess was going for. Still, the chocolate creme didn’t do it for me, and my opinion of Twinkies remained the same: Meh.
PURCHASED AT: Safeway Grocery
COST: $3.00 for the box
Thoughts? Please comment below (I always reply) or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. Also, you can always email me at junkfoodguy@junkfoodguy.com. Let’s hang out.
Sincerely,
Junk Food Guy
Discuss - 20 Comments
@jfg, that was some good stuff u wrote. Your right I did like it too!
@Will: I’m still grumpy over the loss
That’s Twinkie The Kid! How do you know know Twinkie The Kid? For shame.
As a Pats fan, I appreciate the kind words and probing analysis, but I have always found the New England way of doing things a little dangerous as well. Like instead of focusing on building up solid football fundamentals, Brady & co. seem to jump from fad to fad. Granted, it’s awesome when your team is on the cutting edge of the fad, the way you note. But it’s a copycat league and there are only so many steps one can stay ahead of the crowd. What happens when the league catches up and discovers workarounds to Belichick’s bag of tricks? I’d like to see a return (or at least a renewed interest) in shoring up the offensive line and the secondary defense.
@Shorneys: Belichick’s next act: offensive lineman catching the ball on every play!
Seriously, you don’t know Twinkie the Kid?? (although it looks like he’s been wussified…uhh…modernized…yeah, that’s the ticket)
And what’s the deal with the naked cupcake? That used to be Captain Cupcake! I guess he got seriously demoted.
“Who says this isn’t a four course meal in one phallus shaped snack?”
That’s some good writing! I laughed. Out loud, even.
The New England Patriots certainly lead the world at losing to the Giants in Super Bowls in which they are heavily favored.
@Lindemann: +1
This post was the perfect birthday present aha. The second game we’ll have to come up with a better bet though.
@NickRovo: grumble grumble
How about loser has to eat a box of these Beef Fat Twinkies?
Beef fat…barf…
@Teresapalooza: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
@Teresa, I just turned 20…I at least want to live 20 more.
I like chocolate, and I like Twinkies well enough, but for some reason the idea of chocolate creme filled Twinkies sounds disgusting. And the pictures only seem to illustrate this. I think I’ll definitely take a pass on these.
Re: Your Pats assslurping
You’re disgusting.
Signed,
A True Bills Fan
@Jen: *hangs head in shame*
Instead of putting chocolate in a Twinkie, Hostess would be better served to make and market the Twinkie described in “Ghostbusters.”
1. I really like the chocolate Twinkies.
2. The cowboy Twinkie is actually not new. He was definitely on the boxes for at least a while when I was a kid (eighties and nineties).
@Mike: I guess I missed out on Twinkie the kid! Hostess needs better ad people
It looks like sausage inside. Um, ew. No thanks.
@Eilish: LOL