Junk Food Nation, this morning I saw something awful yet I snickered and I will burn in Hell for certain.  I was walking on the sidewalk to the subway to go to work, and across the street I saw a guy walking with a crutch and a slight limp coming down the street.  Behind him?  Two kids who looked to be in high school imitating how he was walking!  I chuckled then felt ashamed and all I could think was, “Damnit, I’m going to Hell for laughing.”

It was a personal awkward moment.  Why would I laugh at that? Something very high-school-immature was triggered in me.  I feel like when I was a kid in high school in Upstate New York, this type of rude shit happened all the time – people imitating how others walked, people coming to school dressed up as other students for Halloween, people drawing pictures of other students and posting them on lockers.  Real dark unfortunate small close-minded town BS.  I was never part of that stuff, and I thought that after I left my rural home town, I’d never see that type of behavior ever again.

Yet here I was at 7:30am on a random Monday and there’s these two kids dragging their legs behind them imitating this guy’s walk in front of them! Ugh, and why did I chortle, even for the briefest moment?  Help me out, Junk Food Nation.  Why? This was no Schadenfreude.  This was just me laughing at something really mean. Thank God no one saw me; pretty sure loudly exclaiming, “Well, THAT’s something you don’t see every day!” wouldn’t have diffused the situation.  …..so awkward.

And with that….Today’s junk food: Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies!

The Money Shot

Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies were given to me via a co-worker Veronica who in turn got them from a really weird defense attorney who we used to face.  That’s right, I got these cookies from a creepy old guy. Should I have these tasted by a servant first, or something?  Oh wait…I’m not independent wealthy or live in Medieval Europe.

Anyways, as you can tell, these appear to be caffeinated cookies.  Yep, that’s right.  I ate it..

Buzz lightyear? Who is this?

Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies are just one in the line of caffeinated cookie treats that Buzz Strong’s offers.  They offer oatmeal cookies, chocolate mint cookies, a whole range – all with as much caffeine as one cup of coffee!  Kind of cool…if you love caffeine. It does beg the question; who is sitting around thinking, “I love caffeine but…just getting it in liquid form is not enough.  NOT ENOUGH.”

Btw, the guy in the sunglasses I’m guessing is Buzz Strong.  Looks like a cool cat…except that his shirt matches his hair color.  That’s just weird. Going a little grey there, Buzz.

Agave magic

Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies are lower in sugar because they are flavored with agave syrup!  According to their website: “If you’re going to eat a cookie, get a Buzz Strong! It’s all good!!!”  So many exclamation points, Buzz Strong.  You’re comin’ on a bit strong there.  A little…BUZZ strong. (Served!)

Caffeinated

I do like how the logo for Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies has the steam lines from the coffee to form the ZZs in the name.  And I have to admit, it is impressive that one cookie = one cup of coffee.  That’s pretty strong.  Pretty….BUZZ strong (ok I’ll stop.)

So...it's healthy! Sort of.

Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies contain all the good stuff that you’d get from normal coffee. I do like how the serving size is 1/2 a cookie.  Who is sharing this, and not just cramming the whole thing into your mouth like I am?

Raisin paste and brewed coffee

Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies actually contain brewed coffee.  Why do I feel like these were just regular cookies, soaked in coffee, and then left out to dry?

These cookies are weird for sure – not sure a coffee lover would eat a ton of these in the morning, and dunking them INTO your coffee feels like caffeine overkill.  I could see college kids eating these, however, to stay up late and study.  Could you eat too many?  Someone get Four Loko’s attorneys on the phone.

Big fat cookie

This Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookie looks pretty standard, with both white and dark chocolate chips.  As soon as I opened the package, there was the HUGE smell of coffee.  It was like sticking my nose over a bag of freshly brewed coffee beans.  Kind of nice, and surprising, coming from a cookie.

Soft and chewy

I opened my mouth and bit into this Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookie – and there was a peculiar ever present coffee flavor.  As I chewed, the cookie crumbled and was soft – sort of cakey, with some decent sponginess to each bite.  The taste of the cookie itself was pretty predictable: a lightly sweetened chocolate chip cookie with chips.  I didn’t really taste the distinction between the dark and white chips, although I’m sure there were some.

Instead, underlying the cookie flavor was a distinct coffee flavor.  It was as if each bite squeeze out a puff of coffee air.  Moreover, my mouth started to feel slightly bitter – like that caffeine taste you get when you drink coffee. A little sour, you know?

Did I feel the caffeine? Well, you should know I don’t have a TON of caffeine in my diet, so I was prepared to feel it.  After eating it – nothing.  But then, about 1/2 hr in, I did start to feel that familiar caffeine kick.  A little warm tingle underneath my muscles and an increase in coffee feeling in my mouth.  An hour in, I was full blown caffeine-mode, eyes wide and all.  These were pretty strong….pretty BUZ*… nevermind.

A TMI sidenote – caffeine is usually a diuretic. And these cookies definitely had the same effect – I was rushing to the bathroom soon after.  Nothing like a good coffee evacuation.

Overall?  I was really surprised, and I liked them.  Good caffeine effect, not many chips in the cookie, but not bad flavor for only 10g sugar per serving.  I would recommend these even if I probably wouldn’t eat them again, given my low caffeine diet.

Thoughts? Tell me in the comments below or hit me on Twitter @junkfoodguy or on my Facebook Page.

Sincerely, Junk Food Guy